Gratitude and Attitude... Thanks Before Food

Today I can't help but be awe-struck at the amazing influx of blessings in my life.

My friends and colleagues inspire and astound me. Fortuitous turns of events shock and overwhelm me.

Even the simple things evoke my gratitude, like the wonderful vegan stew my friend Claire cooked for dinner and shared with myself and our other friend Claudia after we meditated. No, that's not the recipe for tonight. ;)

On a daily basis now, I am brushing shoulders with well-known companies and individuals - ones you've probably heard of - and adjusting to the fact that this is probably going to be pretty standard routine from here on out.

For those of you who might want some examples, Twilight just finished filming at my good friend's apartment, where we held a business meeting as the crew finished striking the set. Another friend is an editor at the CW Network, and driving up Vine Street, I saw a billboard advertising "Menage a Tuesday" - a clever marketing tagline he'd mentioned to me months earlier. That's just scratching the surface, and hopefully it fairly satisfies any itch you might have had. It feels unbecoming to me to harp about it.

Anyway, I have myriads of good news, some of which I can't share yet... But I will soon, and it's MAJOR.

All of this abundance and bliss is a glorious joy ride, but I'd be putting on airs if I didn't also admit that it shines a light on a fearful little part of myself that I would rather not acknowledge.

Amidst everything wonderful happening, there is still a part of me that questions my deserving power and my ability to handle the great responsibility that a - growing - public image demands.

There's a part of me that sometimes hesitates to pick up the phone ("that person wouldn't want to talk to me", "what do I know") or fears that all of the blessings and opportunities in my life will fall through ("this is too good to be true", "I can't count on this", "I'm going to **** it up", "I'm a fraud").

This part of me is much healthier and less influential than it was in the past, but I still hear its voice unsettling me to varying degrees as I go about my business. And it scares me doubly that this fearful, destructive part of me might get the best of my thinking at some point in the future. Whenever I start fearing in that way, however, I just try to remind myself that my fears aren't happening NOW, and if they do happen, I will deal with them when they are. Some of this I just have to understand I don't have control of and then let go.

I don't have cure-alls for anything, and all I know is my experience. I'm just human. All I know is that it seems to help me a lot to reach out - even when it's the LAST thing I feel like I want to do - when my fear and doubt pop up. We're ALL just human, and there seem to be so many hands to reach for when I'm actually ready to be honest and ask for help.

Funny enough, when you reach out enough and build a system of support around you long enough... It starts reaching back for you.

These are just my thoughts for the day, I guess. I'm profoundly grateful, and I'm also practicing awareness so that my attitude doesn't interfere with (but instead facilitates) having fun and doing what I love for a living.

At the end of the day, there's nothing like a moment of prayer and a nourishing dinner with friends.

Read on for one of my favorites... this one is for the 'pescetarians'. That's vegetarian + fish. ;)

Here's the nutrition low-down:
Wild salmon is lower in dangerous mercury and other toxins than its farm-raised cousins, and is also high in Omega-3 fatty acids that are essential for brain function, healthy skin, and known for reducing inflammation. Research indicates that fish oils and the EPA and DHA contained in them can help remedy mild depression... They certainly can't hurt! Plus, all of these fatty acids are essential for fetal brain development, just in case you want to give your little ones a 'head' start someday.

Leeks, mushrooms and potatoes all qualify as fresh produce, and all fresh produce contains bountiful amounts of various vitamins and minerals that help your body function optimally. Sorry, but I'm too tired to research in detail on each ingredient tonight. The main thing I aim for in my diet is that the balance of my intake comes from fresh vegetables, fruits and whole grains (brown rice, oats, bran, whole wheat, etc) with lean protein like fish, eggs, tofu, nuts and dairy (plain low-fat greek yogurt is sooooo good for you!) at every meal or snack (protein helps you feel satisfied longer).

Pink Peppercorn Salmon with Roasted Leeks, Mushrooms and Potatoes

2 4-6oz boneless wild-caught salmon fillets
1 medium navel orange
1/4 cup diced green onion
2 Tbsp honey
2 tsp pink peppercorns (available at Whole Foods)
pinch of sea salt
1/2 tsp garlic powder
2 tbsp olive oil
cookie sheet

6-8 baby red potatoes
2 leeks
1 package white or brown mushrooms
2 Tbsp green onion
1 head of garlic - peeled, cleaned and cloves cut in halves
2 tsp Italian seasoning
1 tsp sea salt
1 tsp onion powder
1/4 cup olive oil
1 gallon size bag
shallow glass casserole dish

Heat oven to 450

Thoroughly wash potatoes, leeks and mushrooms. Cut potatoes into 1/8ths (cut in half, then cut each half in half again, then cut those pieces in half once more). Place in bag. Cut off and discard bottom 1 inch and top 2-3 inches of leeks. Slice leek into 1/2 inch rings starting at the base and moving upward. Wash again thoroughly - there is always dirt between the layers of leeks. Place in bag. Cut mushrooms in half and place in bag. Add olive oil, sea salt, Italian seasoning, onion powder and garlic cloves. Zip bag and shake to cover vegetables. Pour vegetables into casserole dish, cover with foil, and bake for 45min-1hr.

When potatoes are soft enough to cut apart with a fork, remove foil, set the oven to 'broil' and let bake approximately 10 more minutes or until vegetables are golden on top.

+++

While the veggies are baking, you can prepare and bake the salmon so everything ends up ready together! :)

Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil and place freshly-rinsed fillets skin side down on top. Sprinkle fish with garlic powder and sea salt. Drizzle the honey over the fish. Next, slice the navel orange in half, and cut about 4 slices from one of the halves. Place the slices over the fish so that most of the fish is covered. Sprinkle the fish with the pink peppercorns and diced green onion, then drizzle with the olive oil. Squeeze the remaining orange halves over the fish. Finally, cover the fish with another sheet of foil and fold it under the outside edges of the pan.

Place fish in oven and cook for about 20 minutes. Fish is done when it flakes apart easily with a fork.