Cookie Monster Cures

What do you do when you get a massive craving for oatmeal chocolate chip cookies? Specifically, Uncle Eddie's vegan variety? (Trust me... They're gooood.)

Well, you just can't indulge those cravings every time, so you have to outsmart them. Here's a handy little recipe that will help you do just that. One word: popcorn. If you make it correctly, you can have about as much as you want and never top out on your calorie limits.

Here's the trick: air pop the popcorn so that you use no oil to prepare it. Then, drizzle with about a Tablespoon of melted Smart Balance topping. You'll get a great dose of fiber along with some heart healthy fatty acids. Another option is to mix in some Craisins and dark chocolate chips (no more than a 1/4 cup of each) to get your sweet-tooth fix.

Plus, a cup of tea can often settle your tummy when you feel like you need a little something more to satisfy you.

Stay tuned for more helpful tips. :)

Valentine's Blues... as in Berries :)

With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, I always start thinking about love. I think Valentine's Day might be one of my favorite holidays... I love expressing my affection for my friends and family, and I'm about as girly as it gets when it comes to hearts, flowers and some darn good chocolate. Add in a bubble bath and candles and I hardly even miss the fact that I don't have my honey to cuddle up with. I keep busy being cozy and lovey-dovey with my faithful cat.

Okay, so that's admittedly kind of sad, but my real point here is that I think Valentine's Day is great because it's all about expressing love and gratitude. I don't even care that it's commercialized. In my opinion, it's a fabulous opportunity to tell the people who are close to you just how important they are. I can usually be caught sending mass texts of amore on this particular day to do just that.

Love and gratitude are very powerful forces. Just think about it - how can you not feel great when someone expresses their unconditional affection for you, whether big or small? Love has the power to brighten your day in seconds, from a smile to a hug to a thoughtful act. This Valentine's Day, I hope you take the opportunity to call your parents, your grandparents, your sisters, brothers and friends just to let them know you care.

It's the people that care about me that keep me going, most especially when I get blue. I know just how powerful love and affection can be in getting through life's ups and downs, and it's a power we all have to share. I hope you do.

My Valentine's wish is that the people I love and miss know how much I truly feel for them.

xoxo from me to you :)

Blueberry Salmon Salad

Full of heart-healthy omega fatty acids and antioxidants, this salad is fun to eat and friendly to your frame. It's one of my favorite staples... It might become one of yours, too.

1 pre-cooked boneless salmon fillet (from the night before, from Whole Foods deli, etc)
4 cups baby salad greens
1/2 seedless cucumber
1 vine ripened tomato
1/2 avocado, chopped
1/2 cup to 2/3 cup fresh blueberries

Combine all ingredients in a large salad bowl and toss. The salmon should be flaked into pieces. Top with a tablespoon or two of your favorite dressing (I recommend an Italian vinagrette) and enjoy!

Conquering Egypt and Koshary

So I just got back from a whirlwind world trip of a lifetime. Below is my count by count re-count of the adventure and an improvised "health food" version of an Egyptian classic food: Koshary. Enjoy!

***

Rerouted through Paris, curled up in business class with cozy socks and a window seat. I couldn’t ask for a better stroke of fortune starting out my trip. The flight from Omaha to Atlanta was easy, with only a small bit of confusion in the international concourse trying to make sure all of my tickets were right. There is much to look forward to: only seven hours to Paris and that shall easily pass.

Paris. Descending through milky white clouds and mist 1,000 feet above the ground. Green fields and clusters of quaint looking houses – villages maybe? Small cars and buses making a morning commute, and I am looking forward to a chocolate croissant and coffee before boarding my flight to Cairo at 1:30 p.m.

I am a little cramped but not to badly sleep deprived. I managed to drift off for a few hours over the Atlantic after an airline dinner – with champagne – and a couple of in-flight movies.

Cairo bound – last leg. Two chocolate croissants. Hey – how often am I in France? I bought matching key chains for Sophie and me and a magnet for my fridge. Everyone esle’s souvenirs will come from Egypt and New York. I napped for an hour curled up in a cozy chair and generally enjoyed the Paris airport for its modern design, cleanliness and distinct French appeal.

EGYPT. I arrive at night. Throbbing techno music right outside the airport. A background chorus of car horns and speeding traffic. Feral cats and packs of dogs roaming the streets. Tourism police with AK47s. People, lights, stores, everyone selling or offering something. Generators on the sidewalk and a dizzy first night wandering the streets with Megan before returning to our barebones room to rest. Then… breakfast on the terrace, quick showers, and we’re off: trekking our way to the Cairo Museum where we see statues, boats, sarcophagi and the royal mummies. We stop to eat afterward but I can’t choke down the chicken so I switch to falafel. We stop at the pastry shop then gather our swimsuits from the hotel and head to the Marriott where we sit poolside enjoying cake and champagne. Finally we settle down to eat - tabouleh, hummus, fatoush, fava been dip, pita crackers and coffee – and relax smoking peach shisha from a water pipe on the tranquil patio. The hotel grounds are lush and offer a peaceful respite from the constant sounds of the city. Our taxi ride back to our hotel is crazy and chaotic, but full of eye-catching sights. Now it’s lights out… Pyramids first thing tomorrow.

Saw the pyramids this morning. We traveled at breakneck speed to get to Giza, then, after avoiding a scam over very civil coffee, trekked to the Great Pyramid and pushed our way in line at the ticket counter. We got to go inside, climbing and crawling through tunnels Indiana Jones style until we reached the hot musty tomb at the center.

After taking photos outside, we were tricked into a camel ride which left me giggling and giddy. We wrapped up our tour at the Sphinx surrounded by teenage Arabian girls who wanted pictures with us.

Returning to our hotel, I showered away the dust and sweat. Then, we ate Koshary (noodles, lentils, onions and tomato sauce) for lunch and downed tons of water. Finally we meandered back to the hotel with me enjoying strawberry and mango gelato along the way.

We went to the bazaar and it was massive and INTENSE. First the locals’ side – their village/market – with stray cats, trash, slaughtered animals. Then the tourists’ side. So much to see: people haggling at you from every direction. I got a little jangly wristlet, some postcards, and a little decorative pyramid set. Next up… Dinner on the Nile.

Dinner was a mad rush to the buffet after some fairly impressive dancing including a whirling dervish Megan told me was Turkish.

Today we slept until eight or nine and then took the train to Alexandria on the Mediterranean coast. The whole experience was a frenzied adventure. I felt a little anxious for awhile, but that might have had to do somewhat with the two small mighty cups of Turkish coffee I had at the Ramses station in Cairo while we waited for our train.

Once in Alexandria, we utilized taxis since we arrived at three and were due to depart at seven. First we visited the cool damp catacombs where 300 mummies were once buried. Wooden planks over pits and a stream of clear subterranean water made it feel like another Indiana Jones adventure (the first was inside the Great Pyramid at Giza). There was also a spiraling stone staircase with a well in the middle, and my imagination conjured up images of torches descending for funerary feasts hundreds of years ago.

After the catacombs, we took another cab to the library, an impressive modern marvel of architecture and technology. Finally, we walked halfway around the Corniche – the coastal boulevard – in search of suitable dining options. We were famished by the time we stopped at a bakery, and we shared a small rich chocolate pudding and cream puff confection before sojourning on to a fish dinner over-looking the sea.

We just barely caught our train back to Cairo. I meditated on the way back, read more about unified field theory and quantum physics and joked with Meg. Safe in Cairo, we tried unsuccessfully to visit a mosque (they ushered us out) then took the subway back to the neighborhood of our hotel. We grabbed gelato at the corner bakery and watched the peaceful crowds gathered in the streets. Despite the noise of horns and hawkers, the people here – families, children – feel safe if not entirely friendly.

Now we are finally back in our room for the night. We’ll probably watch another segment of Cleopatra, enjoy our bites of German chocolate cake and baklava left over from the Alexandria bakery and settle off to sleep.

Tomorrow is our final day in Cairo, and then I’m bound for New York.

New York City. 5 a.m. I check my bag through to Omaha then find my way into Manhattan’s Penn Station via the Airtrain and Long Island Railroad. My first task is to get oriented, and luckily I have my cell phone to assist me: it maps where I’m at. I take a cab to the southern tip of Manhattan to view the Statue of Liberty – tiny at this distance. After a quick Starbucks detour I grab the 1 subway line to Times Square where I walk around seeing the sights. I head up 7^th avenue, cut over to 5^th and enter the zen calm of Central Park. The fall foliage is breathtaking in the cool November air.

Tracking back to Times Square, I eat a decadent sushi lunch at Blue Fin. The California roll is decked out with mango and the lobster roll has tuna, avocado and cilantro. After lunch, I shoulder my backpack – heavy with gifts and souvenirs I’ve gathered at the tourist shops along the way – and trek back to Penn Station where I retrace my train route to JFK Airport. At security, they confiscate the snow globe I bought for my mom, so I buy her another one at the airport gift shop.

Now it’s just a couple of flights and a waiting game until I’m back in Nebraska, but I may have a writing job interview waiting for me in California next week. Things are moving fast.

***

Koshary

1 cup whole wheat macaroni (the smallest you can find)
1/4 cup whole wheat vermicelli (or spaghetti) noodles
1/2 cup cooked lentils
1 Tbsp French's fried onions
2 Tbsp chick peas
4 tsp canola oil, divided
1 clove garlic
1 Tbsp chopped onion
1-2 ripe vine tomatoes
1 cup water

Combine in layers 1) heated cooked macaroni, 2) heated cooked lentils, 3) heated cooked vermicelli, 4) chick peas, 5) fried onions and top with prepared tomato sauce. Voila! A healthy and filling vegetarian meal with tons of fiber, lycopene, protein and other nutritional goodies.

To prepare vermicelli:
Break noodles into 1" pieces. Heat 2 tsp oil in a small pot and add noodles. Stirring constantly, heat until browned. Carefully add enough water to cover the noodles, then heat on medium until noodles are soft.

To prepare tomato sauce:
Stirfry 1 Tbsp chopped onion with minced garlic clove in 2 tsp oil until lightly browned. Add 1-2 chopped tomatoes (equaling about 1 cup). Add 1 cup water and simmer for about 15 minutes, then blend sauce until smooth. Season to taste with salt, pepper, and paprika.

Summer Sebbatical

You may all have been wondering where I've been and what's happened to me... After all, I haven't written in a long time. Let's just say I took a summer sabbatical to attend to my needs and strengthen my spirit. And strengthened it indeed is.

Over the past few weeks, I have been working with Select Models out of Omaha, Nebraska, and yesterday I worked a huge gig for Hills Prescription Diet pet food shot by Austin Walsh Photography that will be used for promotions in Canada. For that job, I traveled 3 hours from my hometown of Lincoln, Nebraska to Kansas City. And I already have another job lined up for tomorrow afternoon.

I plan to return to LA, but in the meantime, I have been enjoying helping my family out with some tasks here, modeling, and reconnecting with old friends. I think this was all something I really needed after the intense rigor of my 3-city CD release tour for Aftershock.

The best news is... In November I am going to Egypt to visit a friend from college! I'm definitely taking time to get inspired again.


Lastly, in June, my friend Anna Contessa and I were flown to Washington, D.C. so that I could speak and perform at Mental Health America's annual conference. Anna, being the amazing woman that she is, put together a video of our trip. I hope you will enjoy watching it, and I will be back with more updates soon.

Mental Health America Washington DC Conference, June 2010 from Anna Contessa on Vimeo.

***

Butternut Squash Bake

1 package precut (cubed) butternut squash
1 package crimini mushrooms (quartered)
2 cups broccoli sprigs
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 tsp Italian seasoning
1 tsp salt

Heat oven to 400. Place all ingredients in a ziplock bag and shake to coat vegetables in oil and spices. Transfer vegetables over to a glass casserole dish. Add about 1/4 inch water, cover tightly with foil and bake for approximately 20 minutes or until squash is tender. An excellent fall dish!

Changing Hats

I am ready for a change of pace, a change of scenery, a change of mind.

In the past few days, I've spent time with old friends from high school and have been reminded of how my soul felt before I accepted the belief that I was broken.

I don't feel qualified to lecture about mental health - what it is, how to get it, or what really goes wrong when someone is ill. I'm working to educate myself so that I can be a more informed advocate for Mental Health America, but the research and the facts only go so far. When you get down to it, mental health has a lot to do with feelings and beliefs, and those just don't seem quantifiable to me.

Though my BA was a degree in psychology and philosophy with a cognitive neuroscience emphasis, I don't feel I know what consciousness is. I certainly want to continue to explore it, but I definitely got sidetracked by despair and the constrictive grip of fear. Returning to work on my consciousness pilot will likely be one of my goals as I take a few breaths after running myself silly working my music more than full-time for the past couple of years.

What I realize, and what I know, is that for far too long - several years now - I've been feeling really, really lost. Music has been a sort of salvation but also a desperate grip onto 'whatever worked' as my only form of guidance. Music has seemed to work (based on the fact that people responded to it), so I focused blindly on it and haven't come up for air since.

What I am discovering is that I am ready to find myself and feel good again. I remember the girl who used to feel good - the one who was happy and free-spirited in high school. And I would like to welcome her back. To hold her hand and bring her to the party.

In addition to the reminders my friends have provided, I've had a few more setbacks this past week - struggles with depression in the midst of my exciting tour - that have disappointed and confounded me. I feel angry and resentful (toward myself) because my 'episodes' (as they've come to be called) damage the people around me. They damage me, too, and it's absolutely confounding to 'split' so that I think one way one minute and a completely different way the next. It happens quickly and it compromises not only my relationships, but my work and my self-esteem also.

I think I have been letting my fear rule me for a long time, and that getting well has to be a choice that I have to be willing and ready to commit to. I know it's two steps forward and one step back for a lot of this, but that's just part of the cross I have to accept and bear.

Now that this tour is almost over - the last party is tonight and I'm super excited! - I just feel it's a time in my life to really evaluate where I'm at and shift some things that aren't working for me. There are definitely things that AREN'T working for me.

The mental health issues have resulted in medical bills and debts that I need to address, and I basically feel like my living situation has been too unstable for too long. I'm just ready to figure out something that works so that I CAN be healthy and happy again, and so that I can really do good for the world through my behavior and set a positive example.

I'm looking forward to taking some time for me... I want to write and be in nature and have peace and time and safety to create my next moves. I want to travel and I want fulfilling relationships and time with my family, but I think that comes after I get myself together.

I thought I was going to have this life... This life with a man I loved and a picket fence, but that idealized man then said to me, "how can you think you can have that with scars on your arms and your background of drugs and drama?"

That hurt, but I refuse to accept defeat.

I think I can have a happy life. I think it's a choice to believe one is possible. And if I CAN'T believe that, then what is left for me to keep going for?

Getting healthy requires support and safety and a positive environment. It's a choice that I am making for myself and my art and it's where I want to go next.

Happy. I want to be happy. Look out for this lyric in my next set of songs... ;)

My prayers and good will are with those who don't want to go with me. I certainly have no answers. I'm just trying to find what works for me and be as good as I can be.

+++

Here's a fun little recipe that always makes me smile. Hope you like it, too. :)

Anti-Crabby-Cake Salad with Mango Salsa

2 premade crabcakes (I prefer the Maryland crabcakes from Whole Foods' seafood department)
1 bag spring mix salad greens
1/2 cup freshly washed blueberries
1 medium vine-ripened tomato, chopped
spray olive oil

1/2 seedless cucumber, peeled and chopped
1 cup frozen mango, thawed
2 Tbsp cup green onion, chopped
2 Tbsp chopped fresh cilantro
1/2 avocado, chopped
1/8 tsp garlic powder
1 lime
olive oil

Cover a small baking sheet with foil. Place crabcakes on top and spray with olive oil (lightly). Bake at 450 for about 10 minutes, flip and bake an additional 5-10 minutes, until golden brown.

Divide salad greens, blueberries, and half of cucumber and tomato between two plates.

Place the remaining ingredients (cucumber, tomato, mango, green onion, cilantro and avocado) in a food processor along with garlic powder, the juice of half a lime and about 1-2 Tbsp of olive oil. Pulse until ingredients are mixed but still fairly chunky.

Place browned crabcakes on top of salad mix and spoon about 1/4 cup of the salsa over the top.

A very yummy meal that is filling, nutritious, low on calories, and full of healthy fats and antioxidants.

Rocking Out the Royal Grove

Last night was my Lincoln CD-Release Party.

It's been a whirlwind of a journey thus far.

First off, I am truly grateful for my friends and family around me. And for Mental Health America. One of their representatives had to talk me down from a ledge a bit to be able to handle this event...

Here's why:

This week, my website was destroyed (maliciously) mid-tour, and it threw me into a tail-spin of panic and depression when I *thought* I'd been doing so good. Mental illness is a sneaky mother *&%^#$J&#@. It just takes one trigger getting tripped and I'm (it feels like) 1,000 steps behind where I was (and would like to be).

I fixed the website myself (pat on own back here), but that didn't stop me from having a breakdown about it and why and how some people can be so mean and vindictive. As if life isn't hard enough - nobody needs nonsense like that added to it. And nobody needs the nonsense of my breakdowns either, so I'm deeply sorry for putting my mom, dad, brother and close friends through my Ashley is mentally-M.I.A. routine.

I want to stand for something positive, and I HATE it when I lose my cool. It scares me, and I know it scares a lot of other people, too. The best I can do is just keep trying to employ positive coping mechanisms, to let others help me when I can't help myself, and take it day by day.

Today I want to curl up in bed and disappear (I'm still depressed), but my friend Nicole Brack and I are going to do a photoshoot, so I am rallying, lack of dopamine (or GABA or seratonin) be damned.

Back to the party!!!

It went great once I actually got there.

The Lincoln Ladies club made AMAZING gift bags for everyone and Nebraska Diamond and Audacious Hair Salon raffled off a black pearl necklace and $125 in products respectively. DFunk played a fun set, mine went great too, and I had a blast signing and selling CDs throughout the evening.

I even got a flower from a secret admirer. How cute is that? :)

My dad was so proud, which makes me feel great, and brought all his friends. And my mom and her side of the family were thrilled, too.

Even my first piano teacher was there - without her, my musical talents would simply not be.

In closing - thank you so much to everyone and thank you especially for picking up the slack when I just couldn't carry it for awhile.

Here's my mom's amazing "Green Drink" recipe (cures all your ills):

handful spinach
handful mixed baby greens
1 banana
1 apple (or 1 cup apple juice)
handful carrots
1/4 cup broccoli
1/2 red bell pepper
1/4 cup frozen blueberries
1 Tbsp sesame tahini
1/4 cup ground flax seeds

Mix with water and ice and blend to desired consistency.... It's AMAZING.

There's a New Kid in Town

I seriously could not have asked for a more magical and inspiring evening tonight: the LA album launch party was on all measures a sparkling success!

We had a full house, lots of laughs and smiles, we raised about $1000 dollars for Mental Health America (it's a start!) and we just plain had FUN!

I am so honored to get to be a spokesperson and advocate for a cause I really believe in and for my music to be able to create opportunities for others to benefit, challenge themselves and grow. I know I have grown (and am continuing to grow A LOT) from this adventure.

Thank you so much to all of my friends, colleagues and supporters who showed up to make this evening the incredible experience that it was.

Turns out... I really like being the center of attention. As long as I'm drawing attention to a worthwhile cause - I'm grateful to be a channel for some positive vibes.

Here are the music video contest winners:

1st place - Chris McKay of Seth Green's Robot Chicken for "Oceanic Panic": VIEW
2nd place - Derek Mok, editor of A&E's The Jacksons for "It's Not Enough": VIEW
3rd place - Kyle Morris for his claymation video (no GMO!) for "Invisible Earthquake": VIEW



Honorable mentions to:

Joal Geist - "Unrequited": VIEW
Christian Filippella - "Tangled": VIEW

The rest of the videos and their links will be announced soon. :)

Other directors were:
Mike Yuen
Jeremy Wagner
Brian Reynolds
Max Smerling
Ricky Molina
Randy Dottin

To end the evening, my band performed under candlelight on an open air patio surrounded by the sound of the wind in the trees and friends encircling the balcony.

A final thank you to all of the people that helped and supported this amazing kick off to the "Aftershock CD Release Tour":

Toni Koch, Anna Contessa, Robert Finkelstein, my DAD, Max Smerling, Ed Mattiuzzi, Kat Ellis, Bob Girnius, Doug Snyder, Jen Lyneis, Noelle Bonhomme, Sara Kuhl, Tim Coston, Elijah Star, Eoin Waxel, Elliot Smith and SOOOO many others. THANK YOU.




Ash + my producer Erik Colvin formerly of Neuromance and now with Modified by Man.













Purifying Parsley, Beet, Cucumber and Avocado Salad

So I have to stay powered up and running clean for such an intensive event. Here's a favorite salad - I often accompany it with some hummus and whole wheat pita bread or chips.

1 bunch washed fresh parsley
1 can cut baby beets
1/2 seedless cucumber
1 avocado
olive oil
1 lime
sea salt
dill weed

Finely chop parsley and place in large bowl.

Rinse and coarsely chop beets and cucumber. Add to bowl.

Halve avocado, remove pit, scoop from shell with a large spoon, and slice halves into 1/2 inch bits. Add to bowl.

Drizzle about 1-2 Tbsp of olive oil and the juice of half a lime over vegetables. Sprinkle moderately with sea salt and fresh ground pepper. Sprinkle generously with dill.

Toss all ingredients together until well mixed.

A fun variation is to add cooked, chilled lintels (1 - 2 cups depending on your preference). This adds extra protein, fiber and B vitamins.

Scoop into serving dishes (bowls) and enjoy! It will also keep in the fridge for several days, making it a great quick and easy lunch for busy go-getters who need to keep in top form (and have fun doing it!).

xoxoxo

Ashley

Nebraska... Here I come! :)

(I'm feeling stronger everyday... !)